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SCI FI HI FI
Incomplete Transmissions
Lyrics to ALL 24 Songs
all songs © KEN LONNQUIST 1999

1. Sci Fi Hi Fi Twist

You drop the needle on the record then you let it spin

If you don’t got a record, put a CD in

If you don’t got a CD, then put on a tape

Crank it up loud so there’s no escape

Gonna hypnotize ya till ya can’t resist

Doin’ the Sci Fi Hi Fi Twist!

Twist it! Aliens are comin’

Twist it! You’re all alone

Twist it! The spaceship’s hummin’

Twist it! Through the twilight zone

Twist it! They tried to zap ya but they missed

Doin’ the Sci Fi Hi Fi Twist!

Twist! Twist! Twist! Twist!

2. Genie Fish

(Written with 4th Grade students from Farmington Elementary, Farmington, MN)

I was fishin' after dark by a river in the park

My bobber started bobbing, my fishin' pole throbbing

From the water with a swish there appeared a mighty fish

Whose tail seemed to taper at the end into a vapor

A Genie Fish... A Genie Fish

Mystic! Ooh! Magic! Aah! Make a wish! A-haa!

You lucky duck from the muck you plucked a Genie Fish!

The giant Genie Fish said, "I'll grant your every wish---

You hooked a magic lamp---never mind the fact it's damp

Muddied up and rusty---all you have to do is trust me

Rub the sides and dream and leave the rest to me."

It was a Genie Fish... A Genie Fish

Mystic! Ooh! Magic! Aah! Make a wish! A-haa!

You lucky duck from the muck you plucked a Genie Fish!

What would you wish for? What would you wish for?

What would yo wish for? What would you wish for?

And so I made my wishes and came home with three fishes

As long from side to side as my arms stretched wide

They're big, no one's denyin' but I know they think I'm lyin'

Like everyone who fishes when I mention those three wishes

From the Genie Fish... A Genie Fish

Mystic! Ooh! Magic! Aah! Make a wish! A-haa!

You lucky duck from the muck you plucked a Genie Fish!

3. Yo Yo Life

(Written with 6th Graders at Okauchee School, Okauchee, WI)

This is a yo yo life! This is a yo yo world!

Made for the yo yo boys! Made for the yo yo girls!

Sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down

But things will always come back around

Just like the real world

The yo yo world is spinning

It's always been this way

Ever since the beginning

You've gotta walk the dog

Put the baby in the cradl

Go around the world

And sleep when you are able

Chorus

Just like the real world

Tragedies can happen

You're yo yo-ing away

Then, zing! Your string is snappin'

You cannot walk the dog

Put baby in the cradle

You can't do anything

Your yo yo is disabled

Chorus

Just like the real world

When something needs repairing

It's good to have a friend

With extra string for sharing

Then you can walk the dog

Put the baby in the cradle

Go around the world

And sleep when you are able

Chorus

4. I Don't know

(Written with students from Franklin Elementary, Fond Du Lac, WI)

What’s gonna happen next? I don’t know!

Just sit back and let go!

Life is a river---let it flow

The best thing about it is: I don’t know!

Wake up and jump out of bed

Questions pop into your head

Why and How and Where and When

Over and over again!

What’s gonna happen next? I don’t know!

Just sit back and let go!

Life is a river---let it flow

The best thing about it is: I don’t know!

Every day is a surprise

Happening right before your eyes

An exciting mystery

Waiting for you and me!

What’s gonna happen next? I don’t know!

Just sit back and let go!

Life is a river---let it flow

The best thing about it is: I don’t know!

5. Neon Green

(Written with 4th Grade students from Farmington Elementary, Farmington, MN)

I had a lemonade stand, it didn't make much money

It tasted kind of bland and a little bit funny

But then I found my niche in the drink stand scene

Sellin' people water colored neon green

It was an accident the way it came to me

I put some this and that into the recipe

The potion percolated like mexican jumping beans

Bubblin' till the color came up neon green

Neon Green, Neon Green

Craziest kind of water that you've ever seen

They're rushin' up to buy, like fire to gasoline

They suck it by the bucket 'cause it's...

Oooh neon green neon green neon green

Neon green neon green neon green

I don't tell nobody what it can do

I leave it to the imagination

You see what you want to see in my brew

And it will do what you want it to do to you---ooo ooo ooo ooo

I don't know what's really in the stuff

But a flashy lookin' label seems to be enough

I call it "new", "improved", "one-hundred-per-cent fat free"

Now everybody's dyin' to buy some neon green

Neon Green, Neon Green

Craziest kind of water that you've ever seen

They're rushin' up to buy, like fire to gasoline

They suck it by the bucket 'cause it's...

Oooh neon green neon green neon green

6. When Parents Were Young

When parents were young, kids acted politely

They never talked back and did not misbehave

They took out the garbage without someone asking

They got no allowance and never complained

Complained, complained, complained

They got no allowance and never complained

When parents were young, the snow was much deeper

And kids had to walk to school every day

Five or six miles, uphill and barefoot

Coming and going it was uphill both ways

Both ways, both ways, both ways

Coming and going it was uphill both ways

When parents were young, kid's rooms were cleaner

Their beds were all made and their toys put away

And all the adults were much stricter and meaner

Not like the nice parents kids have today

Today, today, today

Not like the nice parents kids have today

The older they get, the better they were

And the rougher and tougher their childhoods, for sure

Your grandparents sang to your parents, and you

Will probably sing to your own children, too:

When parents were young, before they ate candy

They finished their spinach and broccoli and peas

And if extra helpings of veggies were handy

They held up their plates and said, "More spinach, please!"

Please, please, please

They held up their plates and said, "More spinach, please!"

When parents were young, all the music was better

Not like the stuff that you hear nowadays

The sun was more sunny, the water was wetter

Their shirts were all neat and tucked in everyday

Everyday, everyday, everyday

Their shirts were all neat and tucked in everyday

So they say, everyday.

7. Afro

(Written with 6th Grade students from Werner Elementary, Ft. Collins, CO)

One afternoon I snuck a look

At my dad's high school yearbook

I barely recognized him there

Under that pile of hair

His was high as hair can be

Some follicle shock therapy

Gave him the look you'd often see

Back in the Seventies

Dad had an afro

He had an afro

Whe he went walkin' down the street

Every single dog he'd meet

Lifted up it's leg, 'cause he

Looked like a walkin' tree

Dad had an afro

He had an afro

Dad had an afro

He had an afro

He had to drive with his top down

So his 'fro could blow around

Passing under low tree limbs

He'd duck or get a trim!

The fashion world was cruel to teens

Back in the 1970's

Silk Shirts and wide bell bottom jeans

Back in the disco scene

Dad had an afro

He had an afro

Dad had an afro

He had an afro

8. The Clouds (Are Sleeping Over)

The clouds are sleeping over

And that tag-along, the rain

Has dropped in uninvited

The thunder did the same

It's rattling the windows

And crashing overhead

Now Mom is gonna think it's me

Jumping up and down in bed

But I don't care what Mom may say

I want the clouds to stay and play

The clouds are sleeping over

It's as plain as pumpkin pie

They're punching up their pillows

And stretching 'cross the sky

Flickering their flashlights

Underneath the sheets

Now Mom is gonna think it's me

Just wasting batteries

But I don't care what Mom may say

I want the clouds to stay and play

The clouds are sleeping over

The rain won't settle down

It's skipping on the rooftops

And running all around

It better cut it out soon

Or my Mom'll get so sore

She won't allow the clouds

To sleep over any more

But I don't care what Mom may say

I want the clouds to stay and play

No, I don't care what Mom may say

I want the clouds to stay and play

9. Hurricane Mom

(Written with 4th Grade students from Farmington, Elementary, Farmington, MN)

If I forget to clean my room

Thunder in the distance booms

Toys left out, an unmade bed

Lightning flickers overhead

Dirty socks thrown on the floor

Whip the winds into a roar

Muddy footprints in the hall

Unleash a torrential squall

Batten the hatches! Lock all the doors!

Shutter the windows! Nail down the floors!

A storm is coming! Quick, while it's still calm---

Warn the weatherman: it's Hurricane Mom!

Mom is cool most of the time

But she wants the house to shine

And if I don't do my part

It's not long till rumbling starts

Flashing eyes look down at me

Mom is gusting, suddenly

Watch her as the tempest grows

Shrieking, freaking, thar she blows!

Batten the hatches! Lock all the doors!

Shutter the windows! Nail down the floors!

A storm is coming! Quick, while it's still calm---

Warn the weatherman: it's Hurricane Mom!

The only way to calm the seas

(Speaking now maternally)

Is to swab the deck before

Nasty weather hits the shore

Use the closet, hamper, drawer

Act like you know what they're for

Till the storm blows past, and then

You can make a mess again

Batten the hatches! Lock all the doors!

Shutter the windows! Nail down the floors!

A storm is coming! Quick, while it's still calm---

Warn the weatherman: it's Hurricane Mom!

10. Open A Book

(Written for WHA-TV, Madison, WI)

A book can take you places no one's ever been before

Doors will open in your mind

You will find things you never dreamed...

Imaginary, or quite real

In-between the covers, waiting all the time

Just to open up your mind

Open a book

You open your mind when you

Open a book

Open your mind

Open a book

You open your mind when you

Open a book

Open your mind

11. Do You?

In Africa I met a toothy tiger

Wandering the Serengeti Plain

She looked at me with jaws opening wider

Than they should be for friendship to remain

I asked her, "Do you like lunch? Do you? Do You?

Do you make the bones crunch? Do you? Do You?

Do you munch 'em a bunch? Do you? Do You?

I've got a hunch you do

The tiger smiled sweetly at my question

Wagged a sharp foreclaw as if to say:

"Eating children gives me indigestion."

But I did not believe her anyway

I asked her, "Do you like lunch? Do you? Do You?

Do you make the bones crunch? Do you? Do You?

Do you munch 'em a bunch? Do you? Do You?

I've got a hunch you do

Tiger wasn't happy

Sharpened her claws

Started gettin' snappy

Opened her jaws

Wider and wider

Stripes on her back

Could have pulled me inside her

Might have made me a snack

But turning tail, she left me, bone and marrow

Sniffed, and lifting her nose in the air

Said, "Your attitude is rude and narrow.

Unworthy of my dinner," she declared.

'Cause I asked her, "Do you like lunch? Do you? Do You?

Do you make the bones crunch? Do you? Do You?

Do you munch 'em a bunch? Do you? Do You?

I've got a hunch you do

12. Spider & The Fly

(Written with students from Werner Elementary, Ft. Collins, CO)

Once a hairy spider met a fly

Couldn't help itself and fell in love completely

The fly said when we met I thought I'd die

'Cause I thought for certain you were going to eat me

I love you, Spider. I love you, Fly.

They went off to dance at the Moth Ball

And the band that played that night was called The Beetles

They did the Jitterbug and then The Crawl

Slow dancing their hearts were on pincers and needles

I love you, Spider. I love you, Fly.

Let's live together... or we'll die trying

They went out to eat at a Pestraount

She said, "I'd like something in a sweet mosquito

Wrapped in a tortilla, that's what I want

It’ll make a tasty mexican burrito."

I love you, Spider. I love you, Fly.

After eating they crawled in the Love Bug

Driving off together to the Fly-In Movie

Then they gave each other a big hug

Smooched the night away and thought their date was groovy.

I love you, Spider. I love you, Fly.

Let's live together... or we'll die trying

Trying to weave a life together.

Trying, as years go spinning by

Trying, two bugs in love forever

Just you and I... a spider and a fly!

Something in the melody you sang

Made me want to wrap three pairs of arms around you

Something in the harmony you brang

Tickled my antennas, I'm so glad I found you

I love you, Spider. I love you, Fly.

Let's live together... or we'll die trying

Trying to weave a life together.

Trying, as years go spinning by

Trying, two bugs in love forever

Just you and I... a spider and a fly!

13. Greetings Earthlings!

(Written with students from Beattie Elementary, Ft. Collins, CO)

Alien ships from a galaxy far

Landed on Earth under twinkling stars

The filthiest creatures this world’s ever seen

They were coming in search of a washing machine

Back on their planet one day they’d awoken

To find their washer irrepairably broken

And that’s why they traveled throughout time and space

Their broken old washer they had to replace

They sang: "Greetings Earthlings---take us to your cleaners.

We need to get our spacesuits just a little greener."

They beamed themselves down to an old Laundromat

Exclaiming, "Here’s where all the washers are at!"

They whipped out their tools, gizmos and fuses

All of the hardware an alien uses

They chose one with spin cycles, normal, and yes...

Delicate, cotton and permanent press

Cool and warm and all stops in-between

Solids and colors (especially green)

They sang: "Greetings Earthlings---take us to your cleaners.

We need to get our spacesuits just a little greener."

The laundromat rattled, the old windows shook

A beam of mysterious energy took

One washing machine from our planet away

There’s a vacant spot where it once sat to this day

Now off through the cosmos the aliens fly

In freshly washed suits, which they wear dripping dry

Because back on Earth they forgot to acquire

That handy companion to washers: a dryer!

They sang: "Greetings Earthlings---take us to your cleaners.

We need to get our spacesuits just a little greener.”

14. Time Machine

I found the keys to my Uncle's machine... it's a strange contraption

Loaded with gears and the numbers of years split in tiny fractions

When you get in lights lights will begin

Spinning around in a deafening din

Choose a new date---early or late

Some point in time you desire, then wait---wait---

Jiggle the wires till the gyroscope gyres and the lights are flashing

Strap yourself in when it vibrates you’ll cringe till your teeth are gnashing

You spin the gears, I'll set the dial

Some destinations aren't measured in miles

When we arrive we’ll know we’re here

But we'll have no idea just what year... year...

One or One Hundred, One Thousand, One Million

Or even One Billion Years could be

Up ahead... far behind... only make up your mind (it's a matter of time)

Up on the shelf there's a book with the know-how to help unravel

Any mysterious questions or quandries about time travel

Everything you could need is in there

Tools for fine-tuning and for repair

Blueprints and diagrams, full list of parts

And how to escape if some time trouble starts

We could go back in the past to the blast of the Big Bang Theory

Shrink from the roar of a fierce Dinosaur in a swamp so eerie

Or we could fly forward in Time

Finding a future both strange and sublime

Weird-looking clothes, homes in the sky

Sailing to school in pods that fly... fly...

One or One Hundred, One Thousand, One Million

Or even One Billion Years could be

Up ahead... far behind... only make up your mind (it's a matter of time)

15. Prehistoric Mystery

(Written for the Dino-Mation Exhibit at Madison Children’s Museum)

Well, you heard about Tyrannosaurus Rex, uh-huh

And those mighty, mighty jaws that he could flex, uh-huh

He was big and tough and long and mean

Scariest lizard that you've ever seen

And he loved to hear the neighbors talk

Saying, "He's the toughest lizard on the block!"

Ooh, I wonder, dinosaur - Who you were and why you are

Not around here anymore - Did a wayward comet soar

Crash into your family tree? Did the Kings of land and sea

Lack adaptability? What's the answer?

Help me solve this Prehistoric Mystery!

Well, you heard about the Brontosaurus, too, uh-huh

He weighed about 30 tons more than you, uh-huh

He was a heavy dude, and that's a fact

He'd eat a ton of veggies for a midnight snack

And he loved to hear the neighbors talk

Saying, "He's the biggest lizard on the block!"

Chorus

Well, you heard about Velociraptor's claws, uh-huh

They was the sharpest thing you never saw, uh-huh

She could run so fast and jump so high

Slash any dinosaur who happened by

And she loved to hear the neighbors talk

Saying, "She's the meanest lizard on the block!"

Chorus

Well, you heard about the old Tricerotops, uh-huh

With those big old horns sticking out on top, uh-huh

They had a big, thick shield to cover their necks

Good protection from a hungry T-Rex

And they loved to hear the neighbors talk

Saying, "They're the most defensive lizards on the block!"

Chorus

16. Before The ABCs

(Written for the video "Sign And ABC’s")

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z...

Way back when in history, about10,000 years B.C.

They didn't have no tools like these

So they could write, so they could read

That's how it used to be... back before the ABC's

Ya got ta have a hammer if ya wanna pound a nail

Ya slosh a lotta water 'thout a bucket or a pail

You'd walk stiff-legged if it wasn't for your knees

Where would you be without your... ABC's?

A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...

Painting pictures by firelight, Storyteller's eyes burn bright

Somebody said, "Let's write it down!"

They didn't see an alph-abet a-lyin' ‘round

With open mouths they frowned back before the ABC's

Way back when in history...

Ya gotta have a shovel if you wanna dig a hole

Fishin's easier with a fishing pole

A hanky's handy when ya think you're gonna sneeze

Where would you be without your... ABC's?

Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z, A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P...

Back before the ABC's

Way back when in history...

Back before the ABC's

Way back when in history...

17. La La Land

(Written with 1st Grade students from Werner Elementary, Ft. Collins, CO)

There once was a land, a magical land

A land someplace far away

And the name it was known by was La La Land

Though why no one really could say

And there was a Princess who lived in that land

As fair as a morning in May

Who liked fighting dragons and riding her horse

And generally saving the day

In La La Land, La La Land, La la la la la la La La Land

La La Land, La La Land, La la la La La Land

One day while returning alone through the fields

After slaying a dragon (of course)

She wasn't watching where she was going

And bumped into somebody's horse

Now who do you think was riding that horse?

A Prince with a bright golden crown

And tumbling out of their saddles, they

Fell in love before hitting the ground

In La La Land, La La Land, La la la la la la La La Land

La La Land, La La Land, La la la La La Land

They kissed and they hugged and they did mushy stuff

Which we needn’t go into here

And though she went off fighting dragons a lot

He wisely did not interfere

Hair will grow silver and teeth will fall out

And dragons lose some of their fire

But happy you'll be if you're bold and carefree

And follow your heart's true desire

In La La Land, La La Land, La la la la la la La La Land

La La Land, La La Land, La la la La La Land

18. Achoo!

(Written with students from Beattie Elementary, Ft. Collins, CO)

There was dust in the air. A kid breathed it in.

She sniffled and sniffled and sniffled and then

"Achoo!" she exploded right into the air

"Gezundheit!" said all of the other kids there

Achoo---she blew

Right through---it flew

Out her nose---there it goes

Now you: Achoo!

Her sneeze didn't stop. No, it didn't stop there.

Her powerul blast scattered dust in the air

And the kids all around started breathing it in,

Sniffling till sneezes erupted again.

"Gezundheit!" the Principal said to them all

As their sneezes went echoing down through the hall.

And it only got worse when the Cook served this bunch

Loose-lidded shakers of pepper for lunch

Chorus

Their eyes were all red. Their noses were runny.

Some of the older kids thought it was funny.

"It's not!" said the sneezers, all sniffling again

As the bell rang and recess began to begin.

The sneezing increased from the weeds and the grass

"Achoos!" broke the windows and shattered the glass

Kicking up pollen and feathers and flowers

Allergies had them "achooing" for hours

Chorus

These terrible sneezes spread all over town

Till finally together, they made such a sound---

Sneezing at once in a great thunderclap---

The town simply blew itself off of the map!

19. A Hundred Eleventy-One

When I am an old man and losing my hair

I'll polish my bald spot, so when people stare

They'll all end up blind from the bright shiny glare

Oh, it's gonna be fun

When I'm the oldest thing under the sun

Over a hundred-eleventy-one

When I am an old man and losing my teeth

I'll poke my tongue out through the holes underneath

And frighten the children that live down the street

Oh, it's gonna be fun

When I'm the oldest thing under the sun

Over a hundred-eleventy-one

When I am an old man and losing my mind

I'll laugh and I'll talk to myself all the time

I may make no sense, but I'll certainly rhyme

Oh, it's gonna be fun

When I'm the oldest thing under the sun

Over a hundred-eleventy-one

20. Glad You're Here!

(Written with students from Franklin Elementary, Fond Du Lac, WI)

May you always have teeth, always have hair

And when you need to breathe may you always have air

With a closet full of fancy clothes

And keenex just in case you need to blow your nose

Happy Birthday! That's our wish for you!

Happy Birthday! May they all come true!

Happy Birthday! This was the day you appeared

And we'd like to tell you that we're really glad you're here!

May your bubble bath be full of foam

And until you go bald---may you always have a comb

And when your phone or doorbell rings

I hope it's always good luck---and that's why we sing:

Chorus

May you always stay a kid at heart

Even when you're old and falling apart

Surrounded by love and lots of friends

From your first day right up to the very end

Chorus

21. Hand Of Kalaarma

(Written for Natalie, long, long ago...)

Getting ready for bed... lights down low

She put on her ‘jammies, put away her clothes

Brushed her teeth... blew her nose