WELCOME 2 KENLAND
Lyrics to ALL 32 Songs
all songs © KEN LONNQUIST 1992
1. My Day
I woke up this morning, I jumped out of bed
Looked out of the window, apples hangin’ over my head!
Took a bite to keep the Doctor away –
So this day stays – my day!
I heard a bird singin’ a song to the Sun
A ditty so pretty, I knew that something good had begun
Caught on to the chorus and sang straight-away
So this day stays – my day!
My day! Everything I do I’ll do my way!
And if I fly away, just to chase a dream or two
It’s okay! It’s my day!
The rhyme and the reason are perfectly clear:
I’m happy the sunshine’s shinin’ – not a cloud’ll appear
In the sky, no matter what they may say
So this day stays – my day!
My day! Everything I do I’ll do my way!
And if I fly away, just to chase a dream or two
It’s okay! It’s my day!
My day! Everything I do I’ll do my way!
And if I fly away, just to chase a dream or two
It’s okay! It’s my day!
It’s okay! It’s my day!
It’s okay! It’s okay! It’s my
It’s okay! It’s okay! It’s my
It’s okay! It’s okay! It’s my day!
My day, my day!
​
2. All Aboard!
I’m leavin’! I’m leavin’! I hope you’ll come along!
I’m leavin’! I’m leavin’! t’s all aboard this song!
My guitar is the engine, each voice a car behind
So click-clack down the railroad track upon this song of mine!
Sing a little lower like the engine roar
Of a choo-ch00-choo!
Give a little groan, give a little moan
Goin’ “woo-whooo!”
Let me hear the click-clack
Rollin’ down the train track
Clickety-clack! Clickety-clack!
Blow your stack! Woo-whooo!
I’m leavin’! I’m leavin’! I hope you’ll come along!
I’m leavin’! I’m leavin’! t’s all aboard this song!
My guitar is the engine, each voice a car behind
So click-clack down the railroad track upon this song of mine!
Sing it in the middle – sing it so that I’ll
Be a chug-chug-chug!
Give a little whine, almost like you’re cryin’
Goin’ wug-wug!
Let me hear the click-clack
Rollin’ down the train track
Clickety-clack! Clickety-clack!
Blow your stack! Woo-whooo!
Sing it up high like a whistle in the sky
Goin’ woo-wooo!
Blowin’ like a train top, whistle ‘til ya can’t stop
Woo-wooo!
Let me hear the click-clack
Rollin’ down the train track
Clickety-clack! Clickety-clack!
Blow your stack! Woo-whooo!
I’m leavin’! I’m leavin’! I hope you’ll come along!
I’m leavin’! I’m leavin’! t’s all aboard this song!
My guitar is the engine, each voice a car behind
So click-clack down the railroad track upon this song of mine!
​
3. I Sold My Cat
I sold my cat to the Circus
For a pie and a yellow balloon
I hated having
To give him away,
But our house simply ran out of room!
We got him when he was a kitty
Bit hje wasn’t a kitty for long
‘Cause he ate and he ate,
‘Til he gained so much weight
The floor shook when he padded along!
He ate all the food in his food dish
But still he was not satisfied
He ate all the mice
In the basement, and then
He followed his belly outside!
He ate all the birds in the garden
And the fish in the pond by the bridge
When the Popsicle Man
At the popsicle stand
Turned his back, my cat cleaned out the fridge!
His belly was now so enormous
He barely could squeeze through the door.
His eye-popping size
Made it plainly unwise
To keep such a cat anymore.
We feared if his food dish was empty
And a hunger-pang hit him, full-force
A belly that big
Might crave a whole pig
(Which he is!), or a cow or a horse!
So we took him outside in the moonlight,
And we walked to the end of the road…
Far, far away
Where the wild gypsies play,
And the grass hasn’t ever been mowed!
And I sold my cat to the circus.
And though no one believes, it’s a fact:
They feed him so well,
That no one can tell
My cat is the Elephant Act!
​
4. One Speed Bike
My Uncle is a scientist - he knows just what I like.
He strapped a rocket motor to my one speed bike!
I used to be embarrassed, 'cause I traveled kind of slow...
But now I'm the fastest kid I know!
I've got a one-speed bike! A one-speed bike!
I'll take you and your ten-speed anytime you like
'Cause nobody can catch me on my one-speed bike!
I'll bet a bag of marbles, a bag of candy, too,
That I can go two hundred miles before you travel two!
You can use your ten speed. I'll just use my one,
But I'll be here waiting when you're done!
I've got a one-speed bike! A one-speed bike!
I'll take you and your ten-speed anytime you like
'Cause nobody can catch me on my one-speed bike!
The neighborhood bully don't bother me no more.
She always used to tease me, but I evened up the score.
I said her fancy ten-speed was nothing but a trike...
Then I proved it with my one speed bike!
I've got a one-speed bike! A one-speed bike!
I'll take you and your ten-speed anytime you like
'Cause nobody can catch me on my one-speed bike!
​
5. Welcome To Kenland!
Welcvome to Kenland – this is my house
I’ve got a fat cat likes to chase the mouse
I’ve got a white dog likes to chase the cat
She’s a livin’, walkin’, waggin’, barkin’ welfome mat!
We’re in! We’re in Kenland!
A pretty fine place to be!
We’re in “Hello! How the heck you been land?”
I’m sure glad you’re with me –
‘Cause when you are I am the me I wanna be!
Welcvome to Kenland – this is my friend
Yep! He’s another guy named Ken!
He plays piano with his hands and his feet!
And a drummer named Ken lives across the street
And we’re in! We’re in Kenland!
A pretty fine place to be!
We’re in “Hello! How the heck you been land?”
I’m sure glad you’re with me –
‘Cause when you are I am the me I wanna be!
Welcvome to Kenland – all of us are
Bangin’ on drums, pianos and guitars!
You can join in if you want on our songs
We make ‘em all up as we go along!
And we’re in! We’re in Kenland!
A pretty fine place to be!
We’re in “Hello! How the heck you been land?”
I’m sure glad you’re with me –
‘Cause when you are I am the me I wanna be!
​
6. Up In A Tree
There's a secret place where I can be,
The me I am when I am really free.
Making crazy faces,
Scratching all the places
That I itch in, when I wanna be up in a tree!
Come on up! The pace is nice and slow!
Leave the hustle-bustle down below!
Spend your hours swinging
Through the tall trees singing!
Grab a perch with me, I wanna be up in a tree!
All the latest news along the vine
Brings the rumor of a swinging time!
Bamboo branches thumping!
Now we're starting something!
Hit it! You and me, we wanna be up in a tree
We’ve got the parrots squawking!
We’ve got the mynahs talking!
We’re thumping vines
Like they were strings!
Monkeys chitter-chatter!
We’ve coconuts to clatter!
This jungle's gonna rumble and ring!
Come on, sing!
If it's too hot we’ve got a canopy.
Poke your head out and the rain is free!
Bananas in big bunches!
Coconut that crunches!
Who can blame me? I just wanna be up in a
​
7. You’re A Rhino!
Youve got a horn stuck in your head,
Your teeth are yellow, and and your eyes are red!
You like to snort! Your breath is hot!
They think you’re tough-stuff even if you're not,
‘Cause you're a Rhino,
And your chest is big and hairy!
You're a Rhino,
Everybody thinks you're scary!
You're a Rhino,
And it's all hereditary!
You lift your horn! You hold it high!
The trees all tremble, watching you go by!
You like to throw your weight around.
You’re the terror of the entire town.
‘Cause you're a Rhino,
And your chest is big and hairy!
You're a Rhino,
Everybody thinks you're scary!
You're a Rhino,
Born to be bad and contrary!
You strike a pose! You stomp the dirt!
You always say, "Hah! It doesn't hurt!"
Even if it's killing you...
‘Cause a Rhino’s too tough to boo-hoo!
‘Cause you're a Rhino,
And your chest is big and hairy!
You're a Rhino,
Everybody thinks you're scary!
You're a Rhino,
You’re a reason to be wary!
You're a Rhino,
Your moodiness is legendary!
You're a Rhino,
Your direction never varies!
You're a Rhino,
You're the jungle adversary!
You're a Rhino,
Your major skills are military!
You're a Rhino,
Who needs a big vocabulary?
I charge, therefore I am.
8. Banana Cheer
Bananas, unite!
Bananas, split!
Peel, bananas! Peel, bananas!
Peel, bananas! Peel, bananas!
Go, bananas! Go, bananas!
Go, bananas! Go!
Go, bananas!
​
9. Abigail
If you're talkin' about a girl who's almost eight
Always tryin' to go to bed just a little bit late
With a twinkle in her eye and a low lip pout
Well, if that's the girl you mean, then there ain't no doubt:
You're talkin' about Abigail! You're talkin' about Abigail!
It's spelled A-B-I-G-A-I-L and that's Abigail!
If you're talkin' about a girl whose hair's light brown
Always wears her T-shirt tags the wrong way around
Ridin' on her bike or roller skates
Or readin' to her brother till the hour is late:
You're talkin' about Abigail! You're talkin' about Abigail!
It's spelled A-B-I-G-A-I-L and that's Abigail!
And when her Mommy's sick, Abby plays the nurse
Mommy gets well quick, cause Abby's smile's a burst
Of the sun above and a sky of blue
And there's nothin' love like that can't do
Ooh! Ooh—ooh—ooh—ooh!
If you're talkin' about a girl who scabs her knees
‘Cause she's always in the backyard climbin' trees
With a house upon a hill and two hungry pets
‘Cause she's supposed to feed 'em but she always forgets:
You're talkin' about Abigail! You're talkin' about Abigail!
It's spelled A-B-I-G-A-I-L and that's Abigail!
10. High Top Tennies
Ian Thomas got his high-top tennies on!
Ian Thomas got his high-top tennies on!
When he puts his high-tops on
You turn around and – whoosh – he’s gone!
Ian Thomas got his Ian Thomas got his high-top tennies on!
High-top tennies! High-top tennies!
High-top tennies! High-top tennies!
You’ve never seen any like his high-top tennies!
He’s gone!
11. Cactus Candy
Out on the Rio GrandeCowboys are eating cactus candy
Though every bite is sandy
So sweet is the meat of this treat they will eat
Whenever it’s handy!
Careful to not eat the thorns, ‘cause they’re prickly!
You’lll end up feeling deflated and sickly!
And you know to forego Saguaro
So we’ll still know their thrill tomorrow!
Out on the Rio GrandeCowboys are eating cactus candy
Though every bite is sandy
So sweet is the meat of this treat they will eat
Whenever it’s handy!
Come las plantas sabrosas
Aunque pueden ser dolorosas!
​
12. Water
Oh, there’s water that ripples, water that’s calm
Water in the coconut hanging from the palm
Tidal waves and hurricanes and whirlpools
Hot spring water, water cold and cool
And it’s water, water
The world’s got a whole lot of water
Water, water, water all over the world!
There’s water above, water below
Clouds full of rain and ice and snow
Aquifers below us and artesian springs
Bubblin’ up to fill your cup and make you want to sing about
Water, water
The world’s got a whole lot of water
Water, water, water all over the world!
There’s water for fishes, water for trees
Gnats and bats and grizzly bears and bumblebees
And what about the farmer planting little seeds?
Every living thing upon the planet needs
A little water, water
The world’s got a whole lot of water
Water, water, water all over the world!
Superior and Huron and Ontario
Michigan and Erie caught up in the flow
Atlantic and Pacific, deep and blue
And 90% of both me and you
Is made of water, water
The world’s got a whole lot of water
Water, water, water all over the world!
There’s plenty of water in the deep, blue sea
But that’s not the kind good for you and me
There’s precious little left fit for us to drink
That’s why it’s high-time everybody stopped to think
About water, water
The world’s got a whole lot of water
Water, water, water all over the world!
Fallin’ from the sky, water all over the world!
In the river rollin’ by, water all over the world!
In every tear you cry, water all over the world!
13. Morgan Menezes
There is a young fellow named Morgan Menezes,
Who, if you believe what his own Mother says, is
A kid who can climb like a wild baboon!
She says he once climbed all the way to the Moon!
He never worries about stuff like gravity.
If a branch is so high that he can't grab it, he
Bounces on tree limbs like they're trampolines,
While neighbors look out of the window and scream!
At night when it's late and his parents are sleeping,
Then out of the window you'll see Morgan creeping!
He'll climb up a tree, shooing birds from their nest,
Then climb in himself for a fine feathered rest!
Birds in their nests always squawk (they're disturbed by him)!
Scurrying squirrels are more than perturbed by him:
They once tried carting him off to their huts!
How could you blame them? They thought he was nuts!
In birds and baboons this is normal behavior,
But Morgan's a kid and it bothers the neighbors,
To see him swing suddenly out of the trees,
Screaming as if he’s a wild banshee!
What Morgan does is a little bit strange to us,
And it is more than a little bit dangerous,
Swinging and flinging himself all around.
I hope you're not under him when he falls down!
​
14. Little Tree
Little tree, you will live on when I'm a memory
Little tree, grow tall and strong... and remember me
The trees breathe in, the trees breathe out,
Alive as you and me
Rooted in the earth, reaching for the sky,
From sea to shining sea
Drinking water through their roots
By rivers, lakes, and streams
In mist and fog, rain, and dew,
Dreaming secret dreams
Little tree, you will live on when I'm a memory
Little tree, grow tall and strong... and remember me
Red and yellow, green, and brown,
Gold and orange, too
Black and white, with rustling leaves
When winds come whistling through
Very old, very tall
Reaching toward the sky
Hundreds of feet, thousands of years
Before you'll ever die
Little tree, you will live on when I'm a memory
Little tree, grow tall and strong... and remember me
Through the years of lightning, thunder, and rainfall
Ice and snow, fire, and floods, you'll stand tall
Little tree, you will live on when I'm a memory
Little tree, grow tall and strong... and remember me
15. Old Witch
Chicken, my chicken, my craney crands
I went to the well to wash my hands
When I got there the water was sand!
What time is it, old witch, old witch?
What time is it, old witch?
Old witch, old witch, she lives in a ditch
And combs her hair with a hickory switch
She lives on snails and tails and flies
Ajnd if you get near her she’ll wobble her eyes!
Oh, she’ll wobble her eyes!
Oh, she’ll wobble her eyes!
Chicken, my chicken, my craney cracrowsnds
I went to the well to wash my nose
When I got there the water was froze!
What time is it, old witch, old witch?
What time is it, old witch?
Old witch, old witch, she lives in a ditch
And combs her hair with a hickory switch
She lives on snails and tails and flies
Ajnd if you get near her she’ll wobble her eyes!
Oh, she’ll wobble her eyes!
Oh, she’ll wobble her eyes!
Chicken, my chicken, my craney creet
I went to the well to wash my feet
When I got there the water was sweet!
What time is it, old witch, old witch?
What time is it, old witch?
Old witch, old witch, she lives in a ditch
And combs her hair with a hickory switch
She lives on snails and tails and flies
Ajnd if you get near her she’ll wobble her eyes!
Oh, she’ll wobble her eyes!
Oh, she’ll wobble her eyes!
16. Pink Polka Dot Underwear
I hung out my laundry one fine summer day
Out on the clothes-line to dry
T-shirts and underpants, stockings and all
To wait for the wind to come by
I fastened the clothespins as tight as I could
Dad had just shown me the way
But too late I learned it was not tight enough
The wind blew my clothes all away!
Over the ocean, high above France
If you look up, by and by
You'll see my pink polka dot underpants
Sailing away through the sky!
Every last stitch on the clothesline blew off
Flitting away far and wide
I tried to chase them, but it was no use
Sadly I went back inside
I called the police and the FBI
I emailed the CIA:
"Could you find my pink polka dot underpants?
The ones that the wind blew away?"
Over the ocean, high above France
If you look up, by and by
You'll see my pink polka dot underpants
Sailing away through the sky!
I miss the t-shirts I used to wear
Orange and yellow and blue
I miss my stockings, the striped and the plain
The hole-y old argyle ones, too
But more than the rest, and closest to me
Though nobody knew they were there
I will love the lost laundry blown over the sea:
My pink polka dot underwear!
​
17. Down The Railroad Track
I crawled out of bed when the moon lit my room,
Pulled on my jeans and my shoes.
I leaned out the window, and swung down a tree,
Just as an owl asked, "Whooooo?"
Off in the distance a train whistle blew
Soft on the wind through my yard.
I crawled to the back through a hole in the fence,
And I followed the Moon and a Star...
Goin' walkin' down the railroad track
Goin' walkin' and I won't come back
Gonna build myself a hobo shack
Down by the railroad track
Late tonight I'm gonna steal away
And walk the rails till the break of day
If they're gonna treat me this way
I'm gonna steal away
I'll sing all night... I'll sing all night
‘Round a campfire light where the moon shines bright
I'll sing all night
Gonna climb behind a big smokestack
And listen to the rails click and clack
I'll go so far away I can't come back
Down by the railroad track
And dream all night... I'll dream all night
‘Round a campfire light where the moon shines bright
I'll dream all night
Goin' walkin' down the railroad track
Goin' walkin' and I won't come back
Gonna build myself a hobo shack
Down by the railroad track
​
18. When God Handed Out The Brains
When God was handing out the brains the sculptors weren't around
If you're a Doubting Thomas... look! The evidence abounds!
In every park or garden, in every city square
The quirks they call their handiwork are proof that they weren't there!
Name a statue if you can who stands with dignity
Beneath a sky where pigeons fly to ill-positioned trees
Blanketed with ice and snow or drenched out in the rain
What's to thank for all of this? The sculptor's lack of brains!
Sun and rain! Purple pigeon stains!
Where were all the sculptors when God handed out the brains?
They carve us from the marble they've extracted from their heads
Their principal preoccupation seems to be the dead
Socrates and Cicero and Aristotle, too
Are more than like the likenesses they'll offer up for view!
Our arms and legs are all askew, we often wear no clothes
I'd like to see a sculptor cast in such a public pose

And then to watch him hold it for a hundred years or more
They'd understand at last what all our grumbling is for!
Sun and rain! Purple pigeon stains!
Where were all the sculptors when God handed out the brains?
Other art is made to hang in galleries indoors
Where servants come to dust and clean and polish up the floors
Are statues ever treated with this level of respect?
No! and all because our makers had this one defect:
Sun and rain! Purple pigeon stains!
Where were all the sculptors when God handed out the brains?
19. Being Here With You
It’s such a nice feeling to be here
Being here with you is such a nice feeling for me here
And feeling like I do, I want to be with you!
It’s such a nice feeling to be here
Being here with you is such a nice feeling for me here
And feeling like I do, I want to be with you!
Could you love me – every day?
Could you love me – sun and rain?
Could you love me – come what may?
Could you feel what I feel in return?
It’s such a nice feeling to be here
Being here with you is such a nice feeling for me here
And feeling like I do, I want to be with you!
Could you love me – every day?
Could you love me – sun and rain?
Could you love me – come what may?
Could you feel what I feel in return?
​
20. Nattie Of The Jungle
Lost in the jungle as a child,
Raised by animals fierce and wild,
She never washed her face or hands or feet!
How in the world could her room be neat?
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah! Hoo-hah!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah-hoo!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah! Hoo-hah!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah-hoo!
Up in the trees it's a different world, dude!
You don't use a fork when you eat your food.
You use your hands—you slobber on your face!
Manners only count for the human race! She's
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah! Hoo-hah!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah-hoo!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah! Hoo-hah!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah-hoo!
Eats a banana, throws a peel on the floor,
Swings on a vine through her bedroom door!
Throws her dirty hair back - and laughs!
(She's a wild child, and she doesn't take baths!)
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah! Hoo-hah!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah-hoo!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah! Hoo-hah!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah-hoo!
Friends come over and the house is a howl,
"Boom!" go the bongos as they prowl and growl
Swinging through the bedroom on a long, dark vine
She swings out her window! It's Tarzan-Time!
If she wasn't half-gorilla, she wouldn't beat her chest
Or sleep in the trees in a Wacka Bird nest
But the wild things got her - she is what she is
And I believe she's always gonna be like this!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah! Hoo-hah!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah-hoo!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah! Hoo-hah!
Nattie of the jungle! Hoo-hah-hoo!
​
21. Chew A Cherry
Red-colored high-top tennis shoes
These are what the elephants use
When they hide from you and me
Way up hith in the cherry trees
They sing:
Ooo-ooo chew a cherry! Ooo-ooo chew a cherry!
Ooo-ooo chew a cherry! Ooo-ooo chew a cherry!
Ooo-ooo!
Rarely will you ever see
An elephant in a cherry tree
‘Cause they’re so shy and well-disguised
They mostly go unrecognized
Singin’:
Ooo-ooo chew a cherry! Ooo-ooo chew a cherry!
Ooo-ooo chew a cherry! Ooo-ooo chew a cherry!
Ooo-ooo!
That’s why my advice to you
If you see a cherry as big as a shoe
Never pick it, just leave it be
Or you might pull and elephant out of a tree!
(And under an elephant’s no plade to be!)
They sing:
Ooo-ooo chew a cherry! Ooo-ooo chew a cherry!
Ooo-ooo chew a cherry! Ooo-ooo chew a cherry!
Ooo-ooo!
​
22. Time Vacuum
My Daddy got a toy for us in nineteen-fifty-four.
A wonderful invention we'd never seen before.
He plugged it in - it cast a spell nobody could ignore,
But it wasn't long 'til life became a bore.
He called it "television" but we nicknamed it "TV".
It had a lot of shows and hypnotized our family.
Somehow in the afterglow of this technology
I found that I was missing how things used to be
Before the Time Vacuum -
They call it "television" - It's a Time Vacuum!
"TV" stands for Time Vacuum!
Siphoning the seconds of your life into
The Time Vacuum!
We used to play together on the weekends or at night.
We'd laugh over a board game and occasionally fight.
We'd read a book or climb a tree or try to fly a kite.
But soon instead of doing we just watched that flickering
Time Vacuum -
They call it "television" - It's a Time Vacuum!
"TV" stands for Time Vacuum!
Siphoning the seconds of your life into
The Time Vacuum!
It used to be when people started turning old and gray
They had exciting tales to tell of how they'd lived their days.
But now between commercials all the old folks have to say
Is how they let their lives get sucked away, into
The Time Vacuum -
It isn’t "television" - It's a Time Vacuum
"TV" stands for Time Vacuum!
Siphoning the seconds of your life into
The Time Vacuum!
​
23. Goofin’ Around
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Sunup, sundown, I can be found
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
I don’t need nothin’ gettin’ in my way
I’m in the mood for some serious play!
Climb up a rope and swing from a tree –
Look out your window and you’ll see me!
I’m Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Sunup, sundown, I can be found
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
I hate bein’ stuck in a bed
With a woozy stomach and an ache in my head
Bein’ sick just brings me down
I’d rather be out goofin’ around
So I’m Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Sunup, sundown, I can be found
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Goof, goof – goof, goof, I goof around
Goof, goof – goof, goof, I goof around
Goof, goof – goof, goof, I goof around
Goof, goof – goof, goof, I goof around
So much to not do, and so little time!
There’s a path through the woods and a yree I can climb!
I’ll see ya later, ‘cause me and my hound
Are gonna do some serious goofin’ around!
We’ll be g Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Sunup, sundown, I can be found
Goofin’ – goofin’ around
Goof, goof – goof, goof, I goof around
Goof, goof – goof, goof, I goof around
Goof, goof – goof, goof, I goof around
Goof, goof – goof, goof, I goof around
​
24. Voo Doo
One fine day I went away,
Into the dark woods to play.
There a house I did espy.
In it's window cooled a pie!
I crept up. and snitched the pie!
It was the apple of my eye.
I couldn't help my appetite...
I ate the whole thing in one bite!
Then a witch came out the door,
Heard me burp, and she was sore!
"I'll teach you," she said, "to snitch
Apple pies baked by a witch!"
She raised up her bony hands,
Muttering many strange commands:
"Eye of frog!”, and “Old brown shoe!”
“I'll do my voo doo to you!"
I said, "Who do you do voo doo to?"
She said, "I’ll do my voo doo to you!"
I said, "Criminy! Why me? I'm knee-high!"
She said, "’Cause you snitched my apple pie!"
I was trembling in my socks.
I couldn't stop my knee knock-knocks!
With withering eye, hypnotically,
She cast her yellow nails at me.
"Raven feather! Old hinge rust!
Pine cone,! Moonbeam! Dead dog's dust!
Mix 'em, mash 'em, boogaloo!
I'll do my voo doo to you!"
I said, "Who do you do voo doo to?"
She said, "I’ll do my voo doo to you!"
I said, "Criminy! Why me? I'm knee-high!"
She said, "’Cause you snitched my apple pie!"
She said, "Since you snitched my pie,
I'll turn you into a fly!"
I said, "If you must voo doo,
May I ask one thing of you?
Before I'm zapped and fly away,
Voo doo one more pie our way!
One so luscious, fine and sweet,
That no one could resist the treat!"
So the witch, to prove her power,
Made a pie that sang, "Devour!
Eat me! Taste me! I mean you!
Eat! There's no time for voo doo!"
So we ate, the witch and I,
Under the spell of that pie.
Every bite, then five pies more!
She voo dooed a bakery store!
The pies were so delicious, she
Forgot about voo doo-ing me.
And we grew fat, and quite good friends.
The pies never did... but the story, ends.
​
25. Boysie Boys
Who are the Boysie Boys?
The Boysie Boys? The Boysie Boys?
Who are the Boysie Boys?
Moon and Blue!
​
They've got white fur and a big, black nose!
They sniff and wag wherever they goes!
They like to sing in a howling' tone
When Natalie's jamming' on the saxophone
​
We got these puppies when our other dog died
We didn't sit around, even though we cried
We went right out to the country farm
And came home with a Boysie Boy under each arm
Fuzzy and warm - a livin', walkin' waggin', barkin'
Bundle of charm!
​
Who are the Boysie Boys?
The Boysie Boys? The Boysie Boys?
Who are the Boysie Boys?
Moon and Blue! Moon and Blue! Moon and Blue!
​
​
​
26. Count On Me
You can count on the Sun to be yellow
You can count on the sky to be blue
You can count on the birds to sing in the trees
And you can count on me - I love you!
​
You can count on a fish to go swimmin'
And you can count on a cow to go "moo"!
You can count on the bees to lead you to honey
And you can count on me - I love you!
​
I love you - you can count on me, honey!
I love you - you can spend all my money!
I love you - though it may strike you funny -
Spending' time with you is all I really want to do!
Adding up - all our time
Every moment will be yours and mine!
​
You can count on pennies and nickels
You can count on fingers and toes
You can count all the stars shining in heavebn
And you can count on me - I love...
You can count on me - I love...
You can count on me - I love you!
​
​
​
​
27. Electrician’s Daughter
My Mom's an electrician's daughter.
She knows how to weld and solder.
Takes the toolbox and she picks,
The tool she needs to do the trick!
Anything that gives us trouble,
Mom can fix it on the double:
Refrigerator, Washer, Dryer ---
Dad just stands back and admires!
Hammer, chisel, box of nails,
Mama's magic never fails!
Screwdriver, old Crowbar ---
She can even fix the car!
When there's trouble with the plumbing,
Mom don't want no plumber coming!
Dad throws in the towel in a hurry.
Mom says, "Hey... no need to worry!"
Sink clogged up, the drain is burpin',
Soon my Mom will get it slurpin'!
Dad just stays out of the way,
And watches Mama save the day!
Bowl won't flush, the bathroom stinky,
She takes a vice-grip in her pinky,
Says, "Don't call the plumber, honey ---
I can save us lots of money!"
Mom's an electrician's daughter.
Box of tools my grandpa bought her,
Sitting on a bench in the basement ---
Filled with magic and amazement!
​
28. Red Rooster
There’s a red rooster on the road!
There’s a red rooster on the road!
There’s a red rooster
There’s a red, red rooster
There’s a red rooster on the road!
There’s a red roadster on the road!
There’s a red roadster on the road!
There’s a red roadster
There’s a red, red roadster
There’s a red roadster on the road!
Now, when that red roadster on the road!
Meets that red rooster on the road!
There’ll be a red, red roafster
But no big, red rooster
Just a big, red puddle… on the road!
29. Happy Jose
Down south of the border the Mexico way,
There lives an old man called Happy Jose.
He grows chili peppers: red, yellow and green.
The hottest ones you've ever tasted or seen!
Ay, yi, yi-yi! His peppers make everyone cry:
Ay, yi, yi-yi, yi-yi! Business is snappy!
Jose is so happy!
His peppers leave not a dry eye!
Tourists will visit from far, far away,
To learn to grow peppers like Happy Jose!
No water he gives them — just hot desert sun!
When they’re too hot to touch, he knows they're done!
Ay, yi, yi-yi! His peppers make everyone cry:
Ay, yi, yi-yi, yi-yi! Business is snappy!
Jose is so happy!
His peppers leave not a dry eye!
If you like peppers and eat them all day,
You ought to visit Happy Jose!
But bring lots of kleenex for wiping your eyes,
'Cause when you eat his peppers, you're certain to cry!
Ay, yi, yi-yi! His peppers make everyone cry:
Ay, yi, yi-yi, yi-yi! Business is snappy!
Jose is so happy!
His peppers leave not a dry eye!
​
30. Who’s Bob Dylan?
Who's Bob Dylan?
He's a guy with a nose,
And a big harmonica that blows,
As he plays his old guitar.
He sings with a voice
Like a rusty freight car
Who's Bob Dylan?
He's the conscience of
The generation of "Peace and Love".
A really important and famous musician,
To whom lots of folks
Can't stand to listen!
Who's Bob Dylan?
He's a man of disguises,
A musical identity crisis:
Folk, Folk-Rock, Rock and Reggae...
You never know what style
Bob's gonna play!
Who's Bob Dylan?
He's a guy
Who's written a song for every star in the sky!
Such shimmering, shining, rhyming songs,
They'll prob'ly be around
About as long!
Who's Bob Dylan?
You can answer that!
He's a hip, harmonica-howlin' cat!
And he ought to be an inspiration to you
If you think you can't sing...
‘Cause Bob can't, too!
31. Rinkydinkosaurus
The Rinky-dink-osaurus
The smallest of them all
He was hardly bigger
Than a fly upon the wall
Science books will tell you
Dinosaurs are all extinct
But I know one they overlooked:
The little Rinky-dink!
He went undiscovered
'Cause his fossils were so tiny
They barely fit inside
A prehistoric mouse's hiney
His teeth were microscopic
They could barely chew or cut
You’d hardly even feel it
If he bit you in the butt!
He liked riding piggyback
Upon Tyrannosaurus
Hiding in his nostrils
In the prehistoric forest
If T-Rex would sniffle
And unleash a mighty sneeze
The Rinky-dink-osaurus
Would go sailing through the trees!
The Rinky-dink is still around,
But if you want to see him
Don't waste your time investigating
Dusty old museums
Check the cracks and crevices,
'Cause that is where they are
A pebble's underside could hide
A Rinky-dink-osaur!
​
32. Bye Bye Song
It's time to sing the Bye Bye Song
I'll be back before too long
Till then, be happy, well, and strong!
Auviedershein! Au revoire!
Adios! Sayonara!
Toodle-oo! Farewell! Ta Ta!
Arrivederci! Ciao! Adieu!
Salaam! Shalom! Good luck to you!
Hasta la vista! Ta ta, too!
Don't forget to write a letter
Picture postcards, now and then
Will make me feel a little better
Until I'm back again
No matter where the winds may blow
My heart will follow as you go
Until you bring it back in tow
Bye Bye! Bye Bye!
